Let’s check out month three of the Wachtmesiters Warmaster Challenge!
Right then, picture it: Warboss Wampgud landin’ in camp. Goblins scatter, squigs panic, and me—Warleader Tuggug—I gotta explain what in Gork’s name happened.
Sky goes dark, wind howls, and down comes Wampgud ridin’ his wyvern, Grumpy—meanest lizard with wings this side o’ the Maw. Grumpy lands in a cloud o’ dust and bad attitude, snappin’ at goblins just for breathin’. Wampgud hops off like he owns the world (he does), and behind him clings a goblin hero named Snotz. Tiny git, big ego, smells like burnt fungus.
“Boss,” I says, puffin’ me chest, tryin’ not to look like a git. “We was marchin’ to raid da humie caravans, like you said. Had da wolf wheels, da boyz, da goblins, all ready for bashin’. Sent S’Mukkabelli ahead to scout.”
Wampgud narrows his eyes. “You sent him?”
“Yeah, boss. I know. But Uruzak gave ‘im da map. Said if he dies, we ain’t lost much.”
Wampgud grunts. “Fair.”
“So off he goes, leadin’ da sneaky gitz and Snotgitz on his squig. Next thing we know, we’re camped near da Shimmerin’ Sands, and S’Mukkabelli comes stumblin’ back alone—covered in sand, blood, and beetle guts. Says he led da lads straight into a Tomb Kings warhost. Shiny shields, glowy eyes, bone boys with pokey bits and bad attitudes.”
Wampgud’s brows twitch. “And?”
“Well, boss… S’Mukkabelli panicked. Tripped over a skeleton. Rolled down a dune. Somehow triggered a sandstorm. Buried half da battlefield. We lost Snotgitz, da scouts, and half da goblins. But da bone boys? Buried. Gone. Like they never was.”
Wampgud stares. “So he led ya into a trap…”
“…and buried da trap.”
Wampgud snorts. “That git’s got anti-luck. So bad it loops back to good.”
“Boss,” I says, “we got da wolf wheels back. Dug ‘em outta da sand.”
Wampgud grunts. “Wat else?”
“Well… some o’ da goblins got snacky. Ate da wolves. Said they was chewy with a hint o’ rage.”
Wampgud just stares. Snotz giggles. Grumpy burps.
“So now,” I says, “we got chariots, but only half da wolves. Some wheels is useless.”
Then I hears a ruckus. I turns—and there he is. S’Mukkabelli. That squig-brained cousin o’ Wampgud. He’s strappin’ squigs into da harnesses. Not replacin’ da wolves. Pairin’ ‘em. One wolf. One squig. Per chariot.
I yells, “Oi! You fungal mistake! Wolf and squig don’t mix! They’ll eat each other!”
But S’Mukkabelli don’t hear. Helmet’s jammed on like a squig in a barrel. He slaps da squig’s rump.
BOOM! Chariot takes off like a grot with a fire under ‘im. Squig’s bouncin’, wolf’s sprintin’, wheels screamin’. It’s chaos. It’s madness. It’s FAST.
I just stands there, mouth hangin’ open like a stunned troll.
Wampgud? He smiles.
“Fast,” he says. “Stupid. But fast.”
Snotz nods. “Could be tactical or suicidal or both.”
Wampgud turns to me. “Put S’Mukkabelli in charge o’ weird ideas. If he dies, we laugh. If he lives, we betta.”
And that’s how we got Squig-Wheel Warfare. Born from hunger, madness, and one git too dumb to die—but too lucky to kill.
Hoomie scribe with this month’s total: Warboss Wampgud & Grumpy, Goblin Hero Snotz, and 9 stands of Wolf Chariots, one with the S’Mukkabelli weird modification. Orc General on a Wyvern and Goblin hero 220 points and 3 bonus Wolf Chariots 225 points. This month’s total is 11 stands and 445 points.
Wacthmeister: After years of watching Todd paint 10mm Napoleonics all straight laced and “right” it’s really fun for me to see him getting the true Orc spirit. That Squig chariot is wild and fun and just crazy enough to work!
After slacking last month, I slacked more this month. I got the General and the four units of Chaos Warriors that I had painted in September finally based, and I added two Chaos Spawn. This is a deviation from my original goal though. I only had one unit of Chaos Warriors in my initial list, and no Chaos Spawn, but I want to eventually target a larger goal. One of the Chaos Spawn stands is actually some old Nurglings that I had on hand, so ! wanted some variety from the standard spawn figure that was in the Chaos line. This should bring my total to 1165.
General – 125
Sorcerer – 90
4 Chaos Warriors (140) – 560
2 Chaos Spawn (110) – 220
Ogres – 105
Harpies – 65
Wachtmeister: I love the creativity this month, Rob using old Warhammer scale Nurglings for Warmaster spawn is a terrific idea and they really look the part. It doesn’t hurt that I’m a big fan of Papa Nurgle and play Nurgle Daemons in The Old World! Rob really has me wishing I did Chaos for the challenge, those are some high point models!
Mulligan
Well, After 6 separate 40k 2nd Edition Challenges with no Mulligans the tiny elves managed to break me. Or, rather, I somehow broke them. I was almost done with my Spear elves when I picked up a stand and noticed four of the six spears had broken off. I found them scattered on the floor and was able to recover them but I have no idea how I managed to break them. Another strip was missing a spear as well, they were on the same part of the tray I was storing them on. This coupled with a spear I broke off a command strip just broke me. I was pushing towards the October 31 deadline and I just couldn’t push on. Fortunately, a friend came over and helped fix the broken miniatures and as of this writing I am just about ready to base them. (He repaired two strips before I thought to take a picture!) Still, I have been behind all challenge and this certainly isn’t helping. With a gaming convention this month and multiple lacrosse tournaments for the boys I’m not sure I’ll be catching up anytime soon!
Consigned to the Chaos Wastes
PygmyHippo wrote to let me know he wasn’t enjoying painting 10mm figures and decided it was better for him to save his eyesight for something he enjoyed painting. I can’t argue with that, if you don’t enjoy a project it’s better to do something that brings you joy!
With that we are down to three challengers and are on the bottom half of the challenge, lets see what the remaining three months bring!
-Wachtmeister
The Wachtmeister's Patrol 